Losing Grip
by DarkRoseAngelScarlet
Summary: My first li'l songfic and it's using Avril Lavigne's song, Losing Grip. Faye/Spike **Completed**


**_Authoress: Michelle C._**

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**_Date: October 11, 2002_**

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**_Series: Cowboy Bebop_**

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Disclaimers: *Sees a picture of Spike and hugs it before continuing* I love Cowboy Bebop, I love Spike Spiegel, and I also love Avril Lavigne's song "Losing Grip." If I owned either one, I wouldn't be a poor girl that saves up every penny to buy Inu-Yasha and Cowboy Bebop Manga.

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**_Pre-story Authoress' Notes: This is my first li'l song-fic. Losing Grip is possibly my favorite song by Avril Lavigne at the moment. This is suppose to occur when Spike leaves to go and fight Vicious at the end of the series. I changed some spots in it, added a li'l this, took out a li'l that, and even though they're suppose to be quotes, I didn't do a very good job on getting the exact words. Sorry o.o''' I haven't seen the last ep. for a while now._**

Losing Grip

Faye Valentine looked at Spike's diminishing form. 'Why? Why won't he listen to me?' Faye thought while two slight rivers tears ran down her cheeks. 'That lunk-head! That jerk! That… that…'

Are you aware of what You make me feel, baby? 

            'That **idiot** never listened to anyone and he never will,' Faye realized. 'He never cared about anyone… let alone me…'

Right now I feel invisible to you 

_Like I'm not real._

            'No,' Faye thought bitterly. 'He did care about someone before. His precious _Julia_. His love. His "Angel"…'

_Didn't you feel me lock_

_My arms around you?_

_Why'd you turn away?_

_Here's what I have to say._

            'Sure, I wasn't sweet and kind and beautiful, but I've never betrayed him. Ever! Ok… so I **did** run out a few times with all of the ship's money, but… I always came back! I've never left him for good. I wouldn't… I would never betray him! Like… he did me…'

_I was left to cry there,_

_Waiting outside there,_

_Grinning with a lost stare._

_That's when I decided…_

            'Well that's it! I don't care anymore. I don't care! He can die for all I care. The stupid lunk-head can just go away—get out of my life—and never come back for all I care! He's never cared about me. Only his precious Julia. That idiot lunk-head,' thought Faye scornfully. Tears cascaded down her face like miniature waterfalls. "Leave! See if I care!" she screamed at his back.

_Why should I care?_

_Cause you weren't there,_

_When I was scared,_

_I was so alone._

"You told me once to forget the past because it doesn't matter, but you're the one that's still tied to the past, Spike Spiegel! Can't you just forget about her? She's dead and there's nothing you can do for her now anyways! She's just a memory now!"

_You, you need to listen_

_I'm startin' to trip,_

_I'm losing my grip,_

_And I'm in this thing alone._

            Spike continued walking away from her without saying a word, as if he didn't hear her shouting at him at all. "I… I got my memory back…" he heard Faye say quietly and stopped for a second. "But nothing good came out of it," Faye continued. "I have nowhere to go now. I thought I finally found a place where I belong—here—and now you're leaving, just like that," he heard her say, her voice wavering.

_Am I just some chic_

_You place beside you_

_To take somebody's place?_

_When you turn around_

_Can you recognize my face?_

            Spike resumed his previous task of walking away. 'Walking away from the only person that I love on this ship.' Behind him, he heard a few gunshots ring as they hitting the ceiling of the Bebop. 'Jet's sure gonna get her for this one,' he thought as an effort to stop himself from running back to Faye and holding her forever in his arms.

_You used to love me,_

_You use to hug me,_

_But that wasn't the case._

_Everything wasn't ok._

_I was left to cry there,_

_Waiting outside there,_

_Grinning with a lost stare._

_That's when I decided…_

Why should I care? 

            'Why do I care about him so much?' Faye asked herself after she shot the bullets. 'He's just a stupid jerk that cares nothing about himself and nothing about anyone else around him. He's so friggin' hung up on his "beautiful Angel". He's never cared about me before and he never will. Get over it, Valentine!' she thought to herself firmly. 'He's just a stupid lunk-head.'

_Cause you weren't there,_

_When I was scared,_

_I was so alone._

            'Then why do I care about him so much? Why… who do I love him?'

_You, you need to listen,_

_I'm starting to trip,_

_I'm losing my grip,_

_And I'm in this thing alone._

_Crying out loud,_

_I'm crying out loud._

_Crying out loud,_

_I'm crying out loud._

_Open your eyes._

_Open up wide._

            'I'm sorry Faye,' thought Spike with remorse. 'I love you and I'm doing this for you. Please understand… If I don't kill Vicious now, he'll kill you next just like he killed Julia…'

_Why should I care?_

_Cause you weren't there,_

_When I was scared,_

_I was so alone._

_Why should I care?_

_Cause you weren't there,_

_When I was scared,_

_I was so alone._

_Why should I care?_

_If you don't care,_

_Then I don't care,_

_We're not going anywhere._

_Why should I care?_

_Cause you weren't there,_

_When I was scared,_

_I was so alone._

Why should I care? 

            'I love you, Faye Valentine. You'll never know, but I love you…'

_If you don't care,_

_Then I don't care,_

_We're not going anywhere._

            'I love you, you stupid lunk-head. I don't know why, but I love you and you'll never know…'

Authoress' Notes: So what did you think of my first song-fic? Was it ok? Was it totally horrible? Was it somewhere in between? Reviews are my second best friends when I'm on the Internet and you wouldn't want me to have only one friend, would you? *Hint hint*

Authoress' Notes ||: Read my other fanfics: Haunted Dream: Tortsukarete iru Yume (an Inu-Yasha fic with Miroku/Sango fluff in it) and Kurama's Ordeal (my first Yu-Yu Hakusho fic that might eventually turn into a Kurama/Botan type-thing). 


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